For the past year, my husband Trenton, our son Owen, our daughter Jane, and I have lived in Madrid, Spain. We still can’t really speak Spanish. My husband takes lessons but has a severe hearing loss which makes it more challenging for him. I speak decent “grocery store” Spanish which is just a nice way of saying I know how to look for the food I need from the market. Owen, on the other hand, can speak a fair amount but is too shy to ever speak in front of us. And Jane knows she can’t speak Spanish but just goes about her normal social butterfly business anyway. In the year I have lived abroad I have learned more about myself and the the world than I ever realized I would. My perspective of things has taken a shift in such a beautiful way. This experience is something that I honestly have a hard time putting into words. But I think if I can try to wrap my head around how I feel, its worth trying to. Enjoy my feeble attempt at putting this into writing!
This place is completely different from anything I had ever known and yet it is still exactly the same. Different language, different food, different holidays, customs, clothes, and places, but life is the same. Everyday I wake up and drink my coffee, and get my kids ready for school. The same as all the Spanish moms. I go to the grocery store to buy food for my family and so are the other parents. Sometimes I will see a grandpa picking his granddaughter up from school, and watch with a smile as the little girl runs up to him for a big hug, the same as my little Jane does with her grandpa. I see people going out to the park, riding bikes, and taking their dog for a walk. People are living their lives. It looks different here but it’s the same at the core. This experience has taught me in such a deep way how we are all the same. We all have needs, we all have dreams, and we all have families and friends. Nobody is exempt from these things. This experience has grounded me in such a profound way. No longer do I think of people who are completely unfamiliar to me as different, I think of them as the same, no matter how big the difference may be.
Life is normal for me here. If you only saw my social media posts, you might think my life looks amazing. To be fair, IT IS AMAZING! We have had many opportunities to travel, tour old Spanish towns on the weekend and so much more. However, on any typical day, life is still just like any other normal day. Trenton goes to work. The kids go to school. Owen has basketball games on Saturday’s. I go to dinner with friends. We just happen to be living our life in an amazing place where we can take advantage of so many memorable adventures. But again, the ins and out of my life is still a lot like yours. I stil get sad. I still get behind on laundry. I make cookies for my kids after school. I go on dates with my husband. The only difference is I’m doing it in Spain. Also, on a quick side note, I don’t have a dryer, so I am jealous of all y’all for that one!
The deep love we have for travel will now shape the rest of our lives. I find so much beauty in getting to go somewhere I’ve never been, eat food I have never eaten, or hear a language completely foreign to my ears. Before moving here my “must travel to list” was VERY simple. It went something like “Paris, London, Turkey” and 2/3 I have done now, it would have been 3/3 but COVID. The longer we’ve lived in Europe, the longer our travel list is becoming.We long to go explore places off the beaten path. The places that are on the road less traveled. In a just a short time and with only seeing a small part, Trenton and I want to spend the rest of our lives getting to see the beauty the world has to offer. It has become a big goal for us now. We have such a deep desire to spread light and love throughout the world.
There is so much beauty in being out of place. As I already mentioned, we can’t speak Spanish, and unlike most other European countries, a large majority of Spaniards don’t speak English. And you know what, I like it. As much as I wish I was able to communicate better, I love that I am constantly reminded just how diverse and unique every corner of the world is. There was a learning curve when we moved to Europe, for sure. A steep one at times! I remember vividly being shocked that I would be required to street park most places I went. In fact, parking lots would be considered a luxury here. But I found my groove. I found my way. I have a whole pocket of knowledge in my brain about how to do life in Spain. A whole bunch of information that to anybody else would be rendered useless, but for me it’s essential information. I know that most shops will be closed from 2:00 to 4:00 p.m. for lunch break. (Despite what Google might tell you…) And that if you want to buy cranberries for Thanksgiving you need to rush to Costco as soon as it’s November.
We do not take this for granted. Let me be clear, at times, it may seem like I diminish what a gift we have to be able to live in Europe, because, for me, it’s just my normal now. But hear me when I say, we know just how huge of a thing this is. Especially being brought up in a very rural part of America, where many people we know dream of being able to visit Europe once in their lifetime. I hope you hear my heart when I say that, while it will be sad if and when this adventure ends, we will return to the US full of thankfulness for the time we had. In the end, we know we will return as different people, because living abroad changes you in a lot of ways, most of which you don’t anticipate. We have grown so much as individuals, and within our marriage. Our children have been given an opportunity to go to a very diverse school. They have learned about their friends background, culture, and faith while still being proud of their own. We have learned that the way people live their life can look many different ways and that the world would be such a boring place if they didn’t.
P.S. The most beautiful place in the world to me is the view from my grandparents cliff overlooking the mountains in West Virginia. I am confident that will never change.
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